For years I have struggled with social anxiety, it has   been a long hard battle and painful at times. The disorder is not easy to explain in a way for others to understand and it’s hard for the suffers to completely understand their irrational and persistent fears as well.  Being shy is not the same as social anxiety, SAD is more chronic and for some makes it hard to function in normal life circumstances. Rather than going into detail about my past and present battle with SAD I’d like to just say that I’m feeling very weary and I’m ready to start actually living the life God has for me breaking free from this bondage. I know the potential I have, many outside my family don’t realize I am and extrovert and a free spirit which makes this disorder so hard for me as it inhibits my natural desires to connect with people and to interact in a way free from excessive inhibitions. I trust God will deliver me and heal me of this and that he is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above what I can ask or think, I believe he has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind yet I still feel weary and emotionally drained. I’ve been singing for as long as I can remember, making songs and playing the piano by ear since age 4.In middle school and high school I participated in many talent shows. Music  has always been my passion and for some strange reason I don’t feel much anxiety when singing on stage.

I’ve also always been interested in public speaking which is ironic since I used to have a speech impediment and though I suffer from SAD I believe it’s God’s plan for my life for me to  use my voice and not be kept silent. I graduate from college next year and I’m ready more than ever to start reaching my dreams and goals. Meeting the right guy for me, and to live a life anxiety free. After trying so many things I know now that I can’t do this myself I’m going to need a miracle and only God can deliver me. I also believe that faith without works is dead so I will do my part as well but ultimately God has all the power  to heal me mind body and soul. I’ve also struggled with auditory processing disorder which has made school challenging for me many times I end up teaching myself the material since lectures don’t do much for me. Auditory processing disorder also makes it hard for me to understand what people are saying in a loud crowded environment like at a party or something. The pressure from all of this seems to accumulate at times and today is just one of those days. I feel discouraged, and if you’re reading this I ask you to please pray for me as I am in need of healing and a breakthrough.